


until it breaks

by Amber_Flicker



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Could Be Canon, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Depression, M/M, Minor Violence, Oikawa being surprisingly self aware, Someone gets punched, Sort of a character study, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-30
Updated: 2017-11-30
Packaged: 2019-02-06 17:31:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12822510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amber_Flicker/pseuds/Amber_Flicker
Summary: After that one particular match during Kageyama's third year at Kitagawa Daiichi, Oikawa decides to pay him a visit.It goes exactly how he expects, and not like he expects at all.





	until it breaks

He wasn't really sure what he came here to do. Iwaizumi would tell him it was a bad idea, that it was unecessary and not something Kageyama needed to deal with, after that. But Oikawa had always been a little too drawn to impulsive decisions, so here he was. He hadn't even been sure if he'd find Kageyama around. He knew he'd likely turn around and go home, and he'd never have to deal with the consequences of coming here, of one more mutually destructive conversation with Kageyama Tobio. But he did find him.

Only one row of lights was on in the gym. Oikawa wasn't surprised to find him there- he probably thought the volleyball he was staring down at would give him answers, or something. Kageyama was weird like that.

"Expecting the ball to talk back, Tobio-chan?"

Kageyama's eyes were red-rimmed, visible even with the way his hair fell over them as he avoided eye contact. Oikawa hadn't really expected any less- but it still hit him as a little off, because he'd never really though of him as the crying type. He'd almost thought he'd find Kageyama in a furious rage, or something of the sort. He felt like he'd disturbed something, but when did he ever let anything like that stop him when it came to this boy? He tugged the ball away with no resistance, dropped it to let it roll off into the shadowed corners of the room. It allowed him to step in even closer, all but caging Kageyama in. The fact that he was still tall enough to look down on him made it all the more satisfying.

"What do you _want,_ Oikawa?" It was passive-aggressive, not even bothering with honorifics, but not quite sincere. Because Kageyama hadn't tried to get away at all. On some level, he wanted to have this conversation as much as Oikawa.

"No need to be so rude. I thought I'd come visit."

"Why?" He demanded, just a flicker of _something_ coming through before he seemed to backtrack, folding his arms around himself. "People don't visit this late."

"It seems thing have really fallen apart since I left." He said, fake-nonchalant.

"Get to the point."

"I think you know why I'm here, Tobio-chan. Or should I call you _King?"_

Kageyama flinched, so hard he hit the wall behind him. "Don't."

"You don't like your title? You earned it, didn't you?" Oikawa reached up, turned Kageyama's face back towards him so he couldn't look away. He wanted to _see_ what he was doing to him, see the despair sink in. "I never did like you, I guess now we all know why-"

"Stop." 

"-they even turned on you on live television! That must have really got you, huh?" 

"N-no, I-" 

"Everyone watching the genius fail?"

"Please." Kageyama's voice cracked, fists clenching. It might've made anyone else hesitate, but only spurred _him_ on more. Oikawa leaned in closer, just an inch separating them so that he could whisper into his ear. It was hard to say whether it was what he said or the closeness that made Kageyama shiver. (and he wasn't inclined to think about what it could mean.) 

"Tell me, are you ever going to be able to set for anyone again after tha-" 

Oikawa didn't even see the punch coming. It flew at him with a speed and strength he didn't know Kageyama possessed, and it was only after he was reeling backwards with the pain and force of it that he knew what happened. It eerily reminded him of that particular incident at Kitagawa Daiichi. Except he wasn't the one doing the hitting this time, and Kageyama had no one to hold him back. He should've been angry, but he felt almost... numb. Maybe it had knocked some sense into him, or something. He felt blood drip from his nose, and idly hoped it wasn't _broken._

Kageyama was staring down at his hand, shaking, blue eyes blown wide, like he was even more surprised by what he'd done than Oikawa was. The shaking didn't stop when he let his hand drop and looked back towards Oikawa. And he couldn't seem to stop himself from throwing one last taunt, even though he wasn't really feeling it anymore.

"Well, I hope you're happy with yourself." He said, wiping at the blood, only succeeding in smearing it. "That's a great way to prove you aren't the tyrant they say you are."

Everything felt a little dimmer. He wondered why he was drawn to come here, why he insisted on antagonizing the younger boy every time they spoke, ever since they met, and it didn't seem important in that moment. Because Oikawa was tired. Of not feeling good enough. Of fighting. Of the constant pressure of trying to stay ahead of Kageyama Tobio. He tried to shake off that mindset- this was far from the time or place for that, this wasn't the dark, quiet privacy of his room. He was here, and the way Kageyama looked tonight, the familiar hauntedness in his eyes... he felt like he was in a place he didn't belong in. 

Kageyama still hadn't responded, and it had been too long. He still had that lost stare, eyes too glassy in the dull light. "Tobio-chan?"

"I- I can't... I'm _not-"_ Oikawa took a step closer, and Kageyama stumbled two steps back. And the thing was this: Kageyama had never been afraid of him in any way, not even after Oikawa had almost hit him. So he knew that wasn't it. He couldn't take back anything he said, not that he would even if he could. But he had, maybe, gone too far. Let his envy get the best of his common sense. He'd never treated him kindly, and even two years of not seeing Kageyama in person couldn't stop old habits.

He shouldn't have come here. It wasn't good for either of them. 

Maybe that's exactly why he always did this. 

(he'd never been kind to himself, either) 

"You used to be so nice. Always running after me no matter how many times I put you down. What happened?" It wasn't a question he really needed an answer to, because deep down, he knew the answer already, whether he wanted to admit it or not. They both knew he did, and yet.

A long moment passed between them. Then Kageyama was shoving past him, all but running to the door. He'd finally pushed too much. Oikawa wasn't sure what part of that had done it, but, well. He'd been trying to break him down since he got here, so he couldn't really say he'd failed, could he? This was what he wanted, what he'd wanted for years. Wasn't it?

Kageyama stopped at the door just as he started to push it open. "You know what happened? You did." He didn't even turn around as he said it, and yet he didn't need to see Kageyama's face to know exactly what expression he had. Because he knew the expression too well- just on a different face.

He was alone in the gym. 

Oikawa had expected to feel satisfaction when he was done. To go home with something filling the gaping hole in his chest. But it felt even emptier than the gym did. He'd gotten what he wanted, but it didn't feel like any sort of victory.

He knew they'd meet again- on the same side of the court or on opposites, he couldn't say. 

He wasn't sure which would be better. 

**Author's Note:**

> Wow what a creative title
> 
> Oikawa's a little darker than in canon, I think. I was loosely influenced by the fics _young god_ by sweggscellent and _sometimes things change_ by anonymous. Kageyama possibly comes off ooc, but keep in mind that this is what is one of the most vulnerable moments of his life and then he has to deal with Oikawa on top of that...
> 
> I haven't read much of the manga, but I don't think this directly opposes anything that happens in canon- hence the 'Could Be Canon' tag. 
> 
> Say hi at cliches-and-coffee on tumblr.


End file.
